Advert that say " I am looking to get in to the dating scene" or "I don't know what to say" or "I have a big fat knob" are rather dull if truth be told. But perhaps the worse ones are 20-23 year old women saying they are lonely and post a picture of some Czechoslovakian hooker with big boobs pouting at the camera. Are people really that stupid??

Anyway thought I will post a series of questions. Indeed some may be dull but if you don't agree with at least 75 percent with me, we will not get on particularly well will we?

You will like :

(music)

Elvis Presley
David Bowie
The Beach Boys
Morrissey
Suede
The Beatles
REM
Leonard Cohen

(film)

Any gory horror
The Rocky series
James Bond series
A good thriller
A good car chase

(politics)

Hard-right (if you know what this is and realise it is not the same as far-right, then good)

(morals)

Will be a slut in the bedroom but a true lady in public.
Will have self respect.
Will not have a season ticket to the local clap clinic
Will not have a higher sperm count than most men
Will not get drunk every time you go out
Will know your place in society
Will not eat a kebab in public (nor chew gum)

(personality)

Will laugh at sick humour
Will be politically incorrect
Will not be offended by the word "bird" referring to the fairer sex
Will be naturally submissive
Will be emotional at real issues, but not weep at Neighbours or Corrie

(television)

Will watch selective soaps, namely Corrie and Eastenders
Will watch wildlife documentaries
Will watch a bit of news
Will watch Harry Hill

(physical and other attributes)

Will not be a thin bird with ribs and hips sticking out
Will not be a fat bird with pounds and pounds of flabby pasty white flesh
Will not have short hair
Will not have tattoos of anchors on your forearms
Will not spend £40 on a bar of soap (even if you are rich)
Will not be a druggie
Will not be a veggie
Will not be leftie
Will not be on the dole
Will not have an empty fridge
Will not have any Genesis in your music collection (nor Craig David)


So if you fit the bill to at least 75 percent, we could be the perfect match.

Cheers.

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