It was another one of my days, with most of the usual things in it. my world is shrinking. i dont go anywhere now, i'm like a caged cat, treading the periphery of my territory. the daily objects are losing their fascination and are all becoming the same colour. the conversations i have are like operating basic machinery. this is a barren period for me, a fallow field, the future stretches before me, devoid of promise, windblown and sunbleached, aching with inevitability. There are no moments of glee or terror, i long for adrenaline, but it won't pump, shall i steal something to kickstart my terror, fear used to be my best friend, but that was red fear, the gripping variety that could turn you to stone and drain the blood from your face. My fear now had become jade, not so much a friend as an ornament or a feint but continuous noise, the music of my particular demise.

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